Let's Talk About Foreskin

I bet I have your attention now! When a baby boy is born his parent's have a very difficult decision to make - foreskin or no foreskin! I can joke about it now because it is over, it was literally one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. Better be sure, no going back on that one! 

Landon was born early - 9 weeks early. Dylan and I had barely talked about the circumcision issue. When he was born the last thing we were thinking about was to circumcise or not. It did not seem important after all he had gone through already.

When our rooming-in time came our nurse mentioned that a pediatrician would be in the NICU on Tuesday if we wanted his circumcision done before we went home. Time to decide.

The past few weeks I had spoken to my friends and family to get their opinions on the matter. I would ask, "Did you decide to circumcise or if you have a son will you circumcise? and Why?" Everyone had an almost immediate opinion but had a very hard time telling me why. I spoke with several of Landon's nurses on the issues to try and find out the medical pros and cons.

I did several internet searches which did not help me at all. It left me more confused and angry. I only really found extreme opinions on the issue, no true facts. I did however learn that in some parts of the world little girls are circumcised - mutilated is more like it. Ignorance is indeed bliss sometimes. And I also learned that in America circumcision became popular because it was believed it cured masturbation. The main thing I learned was that circumcision in America is still done in about 80% of babies. With Medicare and insurance no longer covering this elective procedure more and more little boys are not being circumcised. I believe the 80% will drop dramatically over the next few years.

The pros and cons that were brainstormed by myself, Dylan, friends, family and nurses: Pros - It is easier for little boys to keep clean. It reduces the risk of infection, disease and STDs. One argument the nurses kept going back to was it reduces mocking at school. I wasn't too sure on this one. I don't plan on Landon running around the school grounds naked! The little boy may be confused if he does not look like his father.

Cons - The procedure and healing time is extremely painful. We have no strong religious or cultural beliefs either way. It is unnatural. God created the foreskin for some reason -- although the two nurses I asked, "What is the foreskin for?" could not give me a answer!

My initial feelings on the procedure was that it is unnecessary and caused the little baby so much pain that it wasn't worth it. I also felt that if he wanted to be circumcised he could make that decision for himself later on in life. However, this was quickly warned against by nurses because it is a major procedure later in life. If you are going to do it, do it young when there is less tissue. Some doctors do the procedure without any sort of pain medication or nerve blocks. The pediatrician available on Tuesday did use a spinal block. My decision would have been really easy if he was a doctor who did not use anything to ease pain. Some nurses will also give the baby "Sweet Ease". It is believed this sugar water substance helps release endorphins which reduces pain in infants.

After much consideration we decided to circumcise him. Dylan was in Helena. I did not feel right about making my little boy go through that alone. I was with him. The procedure took about 15 minutes and it was horrible. I don't want to share the details. I will keep those memories to myself but it was very difficult standing by our decision when I saw my naked, screaming baby strapped to a plastic board. His nerve block did not kick in in time and he felt it, I believe he felt all of it.

I will never know if we made the right decision. For a women, for a mother, this decision is impossible --- how do I know what he will want. If our son feels we made the wrong decision for him I hope he blames his father!!!

I would urge all parents to not make this decision lightly. Ask about pain management during and after the procedure. Learn how the procedure is done. And be with your little boy. I can tell you it is scary and painful. A calming, loving voice and a familiar touch I believe helps ease the trauma.