Log Haven

Last February, for Valentine's Day, Dylan bought us a gift certificate to eat at Log Haven, a beautiful restaurant that is tucked away in the Mill Creek Canyon. Last night we finally got around to going! One of Addison's most favorite people of all, cousin Madi, came over and played with Addi while Dylan and I slipped away for a quite evening, just the two of us.















I posted on my Facebook page that we "Got all dressed up for a fancy night out!" The funny thing is I say we "got all dressed up" when in reality; Dylan wore shorts, his Choco's, and a button up shirt and all I did was put a bra on, a shirt without Addison goop on it, and wore some uncomfortable pointy shoes! I look at it this way, the more uncomfortable my feet are, the more dressed up I consider it!

































The restaurant is nestled up against a moss and fern covered hill. We sat outside on the patio next to the water fall that is coming off the hill! It was very romantic. Our waitress was really nice and a little bizarre, in a goofy good way. She was from Zimbabwe and had moved to Georgia as a kid. You can only imagine how cool her accent was!

To give you a sense of how insanely high class this place is, the waitress starts off the meal by bringing us each an "AMUSE-BOUCHE". Yah, that's right, a tiny French appetizer. Of course the only reason I knew we were supposed to eat the green goop and not wash our faces with it, is because of my go-to life-guide, the T.V. show, "Friends"! It actually was a delicious scoop of mint sorbet topped with a yummy white frosting of some sort! Dylan said, "You know a place is great when they bring you dessert first!!"


After our amuse bouche we were brought an actual appetizer, a yummy chicken bon-bon served with little fancy noodles all wrapped together in rice paper! It was soooo good! We then shared a fancy salad, that was so pretty you hated to eat it! Oh, but we did!! Throughout the meal we were brought cheese bread rolls! Yes they were heavenly. After all of this food amazing pre-meal food we were brought the main course!


Dylan ordered the pork special and I ordered the bison rib eye steak. My meal was completed with fried brussel sprouts and gourmet french fries! The menu said it was one bison steak but I think they made a mistake a brought me an entire bison thigh!

It was all so delicious, however, Dylan and I said we eat this eloquently at Dave and Em's! We said multiple times how hard it was to pay so much for food that looks and darn near tastes as good as Dave's!



The evening was really great! It is insane for us to spend that kind of money on a meal, especially at this point in our lives, but it was worth it and a needed get away for Dylan and I. Dylan deserves one awesome meal a year, especially after eating my cooking for so long!!

I love you babe! Thanks for a special night!

Contentment

Contentment is defined as "happiness with one's situation in life" and "satisfied or showing satisfaction with things as they are".

My whole life I have struggled with contentment. It is a daily battle within myself to not look days, weeks or even years into the future. Always looking ahead, waiting for something to change that will somehow make something better. I often say, "Well, when such and such happens then such and such will get better." I find discontentment constantly with where I am in life, in what I am doing, or not doing.

I am very content with the possessions and things that I have. I have never wanted or needed anything fancy. I have a comfortable, clean, warm roof over my head, a reliable car, wonderful family and friends, food and water. It is not that I feel that I don't have what I need. I feel happy and so blessed. That is why this struggle with in myself is so frustrating. I have no reason to feel this way. I am sure you could psychoanalysis my childhood and come up with a sophisticated, educated psycho babble answer but I prefer to recognize the issue within myself, find a way to deal with it, and then deal with it! Publicly admitting you have a problem is the first step, right???!!! It has been such a problem with me people very close to me have told me, "You just don't know how to be happy." Well, maybe. But I feel it is a contentment issue I struggle with not a happiness issue. Or maybe, happiness and contentment are so interrelated you can't feel one without the other. It has less to do with Dylan, Addi and I as a family, I think it is more of a personal thing. Something to do with the dreams, accomplishments, and plans I had for myself. I definitely feel that someday those dreams will come true. I feel like I put too much thought into that someday, I wish I could just live for this day. Now there I go with the psycho babble!

Having Addison has certainly helped with this issue I have. I don't ever wish time away with her. She grows up fast enough all by herself without me aiding the process by wishing time away! In watching Addison grow I have actually wished I could freeze time right where it is at. In helping her learn and grow she in turn as helped me to grow!

I must admit, the past year especially has been a challenge for me in this department. Looking forward to the day when Dylan is done with school and with God's blessing, someday he has a good job and I don't have to sit awake at night worrying about money and the massive debt we are acquiring! Oh, what will that be like!

1 Timothy 6:6-8 "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." There you have it, we must find contentment to become closer to God.

Addison's Favorites - 20 months old

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, Brown paper packages tied up with strings, These are a few of my favorite things..."

As Addison grows her favorite things change!

Her favorite.....

Book: Her special Tinker Bell photo album full of all the people she loves.

Toy: Her baby dolls and all their accessories.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, with a little brown sugar and raisins, a "Dora" yogurt, one turkey sausage and a glass of milk.

Way to be silly: Spinning, dancing and doing somersaults when the music is on.

Way to be bossy: She points and yells, "move". Then is a small, sweet voice she says, "Please."

Thing to wear: Swimming suit. She grabs her swim diaper and suit every morning and says "water".










Word: "Carley". She says Carley all day long. She has started wailing "Carley" when she is throwing a fit!

Color: Seems to be pink. She always picks out pink clothes or the pink play-doh.

Person to call: Papa. Whenever she hears a phone ringing she screams "Papa" and gets so excited. She asks to call Papa a least 30 times a day!

Snack: Microwave popcorn. She loves waiting underneath the microwave listening to it pop.

Animal: Deer. She walks around "blowing" like a deer and reading her deer book.

Movie: Ice Age. The only movie or TV she will sit and watch is Ice Age. She calls it the "baby meelow (movie)".

Game: Basketball. She loves dribbling and passing to Daddy and Kenton to shoot.

Song: the ABC song. She dances, tries to sing and tries to sign the song!

Thing to do: Using Play-doh. She makes balls and kitties!

Place to play: Outside. The yard, the park, the hiking trail. Rain or shine, she wants to be outside.

Way to help mommy: Sweeping and cleaning everything with a washcloth! And when I say everything, I mean everything, even my legs.

Way to help daddy: She buckles all the buckles on his back pack and outdoor gear. It is really funny when daddy goes to put on his backpack and can't because the buckles are closed!

Time of the day: Bedtime. She loves cuddling with mommy and daddy in our bed before she falls asleep. She will give daddy a back scratch and we talk about our day. And when Daddy gets home. She squeals with excitement when the dogs announce his arrival! She shakes with emotion!

Way to exercise: She does squats (so adorable) and stretches with mommy!

Chore: Feeding the dogs. She scoops the food and even picks up their bowls when they are done eating.

Place to "go-go": To the "water" (swimming pool). She loves to swim and be in the water. She holds her breath when she goes under the water. She is fearless.

New life skill: Using the potty. We have a ways to go before she is on her own, but she enjoys trying.

Thing to do like Daddy: Be naked and (pretend) drink coffee!!! Some mornings Daddy and Addi have coffee time together in the recliner. She even has her own coffee mug!

Thing to do like Mommy: Put on deodorant and blow-dry her hair. (A daily routine already for her.)

Big person thing to do: Taking pictures. She gets the tri-pod out and points the camera at different things and takes pictures! Really she does it! It is hilarious.
(the below picture of Carley is one of Addi's pictures)













Way to be sweet: She gives a million kisses on our face and giant bear hugs. She can very tender, when she wants to be!

Accessory: A dog collar. She wears them like they are necklaces! She will even hook a leash to it and make you walk her around the yard!!!

Thing to try and get away with: Feeding the dogs people food and throwing food at dinner.

9 more days baby, 9 days!!

Yahoo, 9 short days left in Salt Lake City. The walls are washed, the holes in the walls are filled. Boxes and packing materials are littering our living room. The moving truck is booked and the carpet cleaning appointment has been made.

We pick up the moving truck next Tuesday, then we will be driving to Missoula on Friday. We will be unloading Friday evening and Saturday. I am going to drive Dylan to Spokane on Sunday so he can fly back to SLC to finish up school. He will be done with the class room part of school and will be coming back to Missoula the first week of August. He has one more year of clinical work then he will be done! After that, job hunting. We hope we can stay in Western Montana somewhere. I would love to stay in the same place for a longer period of time!

As excited as I am to be moving back I can't help but feel a little weird. We have only been gone 15 short months, but I can't help but ask, will Missoula be the same to us?

I have no doubt it will still feel like home. We are so excited to be near our families and friends again. We have three new babies to meet and spoil, Jack, Ella and Christian. I am looking forward to being closer to Spokane. Little Liam is due in November and I know we will want to make many trips to see Jackie and her boys.

My little siblings are not so little anymore. Both Jack and Jessica are at Meadow Hill now and Jaci has one more year at Chief Charlo. I am glad to be closer to them once again. Spencer will be off to college soon (possibly to Australia, lucky bloke!). Kendall's wedding is fast approaching. I am excited to be able to be involved in the planning. And Jake will be starting his last year in high school. How is that possible?

Sara left Missoula almost 8 years ago. She says it is weird to come home. She feels like she doesn't fit in anymore. I can understand that. Even visiting home over that past few months I get a sense of that. Being away from something for even a short time, it feels different at first. I know it will feel like normal soon enough, and it will be like we never left.

I have seen Sara more the past few months than I have in years. It will be hard to beat $78 round trip plane tickets to Colorado to see her. Ellie is 8 months old already. She is crawling and starting to walk between the furniture. It will be hard to only see them a few times a year, instead of once a month.

I am anxious to finish my class to become a Medical Transcriptionist. When I first began I set up a schedule to be finished with the class by the end of August, with the hope of being hired sometime in September. Well, life got in the way of that and I probably won't finish the class until September or October. Hopefully, our money will last long enough for me to finish so I don't have to get a part time job outside the house somewhere. The thought of having to re-enter the world of working....uuggghhh, makes me shutter! I am enjoying the class. I feel challenged (which isn't hard!!) and I love knowing the medical language a little bit now. It makes talking to Dylan more interesting and it makes the conversation a little more two sided, instead of me shaking my head in complete confusion!!

"9 more days, baby, 9 days!!"

Song Lyrics

Sometimes a song comes along that feels like it was written for me or about me. When I hear particular songs I often stop where ever I am, and cry. Other songs bring me back to a special moment or remind me of a special feeling. Often I find a song that says exactly what I am needing to say. Why re-write something that was already written so well! The following song lyrics mean something to me for one reason or another.

Who You'd Be Today (Kenny Chesney)

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.

Cross My Heart (George Strait)

Our love is unconditional
We knew it from the start
I can see it in your eyes
You can feel it from my heart from here on after
Lets stay the way we are right now
And share all the love and laughter
That a lifetime will allow

I cross my heart
And promise to
Give all Ive got to give
To make all your dreams come true
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine

You will always be the miracle
That makes my life complete
And as long as there's still breath in me
Ill make yours just as sweet
As we look into the future
Its as far as we can see
So lets make each tomorrow
Be the best that it can be

And if along the way we find a day
It starts to storm
You've got the promise of my love
To keep you warm

I cross my heart
And promise to
Give all Ive got to give
To make all your dreams come true
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine

My Wish (Rascal Flatts) aka Addison's Song

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window,
if it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile,
but more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more then you take.

But more than anything, Yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

The River (Garth Brooks)
[As I was driving away from home for the first time on my way to move to Hawaii, my dad told me to listen to this song and believe in it.]

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all...yes

Just Another Day in Paradise (Phil Vasser)

The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things

Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?

Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Well, it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Butterfly Kisses (a work in progess)

Addison is 20 months old today. In 4 short months my baby will be two. People say you will never believe how fast they grow up. They weren't kidding. It is hard to believe Addison is a walking, talking, attitude flaunting kid. It literally seems like yesterday I was watching her sleep in the bassinet.

I wanted to take some time to reflect on the baby she was, the kid she is now and the wonderful person she is becoming. I know, I am her adoring mother, but I will try to be objective and unbiased! Yah, right!!!!

I remember vividly labor and Addison's birth. It was the most peaceful, beautiful time of my life. I remember the doctor saying, as Addi's head was making her appearance, "My gosh, this is a big baby for you!" Like I wasn't already aware of it. With Dylan, Sara and Cori by my side, Addison was brought into the world. Once it is over and Addison was in my arms, so much emotion rushed to the surface. When I actually held her for the first time the love that was growing with each passing week of pregnancy exploded into an emotion I didn't know was possible. It felt so right, so meant to be. Within minutes of her birth the labor room was filled with family and close friends anxious to meet little Addison.It was a truly special moment I will cherish forever.

A day later we took our Addison home. I will always remember...We walked in our door after letting the dogs sniff her up and down, Dylan put the car seat with Addi in it on our kitchen table, we both stood there looking at her, and we both took a deep breath, and I said, "Ok, now what??!!" We had our baby, this tiny bundle of scariness!

Deaette said it perfectly, "You two settled into parenthood so naturally." I felt that way too. Sure it was scary and unlike anything you can imagine, but she was our Addison and every minute was a valuable gift.

The first few weeks of her life were filled with visitors and friends bringing great food and gifts. It was a great time. She grew fast. Her days of sleeping and eating and sleeping some more turned to morning play time (work out time as Dylan called it), giggles, smiles and learning to sit all by herself. When she started violently lunging forward at the food we were eating we decided it was time to start feeding her food other than breast milk! Dylan joked, "Well, she is a Powell alright!!" Addison was always a happy baby, so easy. She ate and slept so well, we often joke we got the perfect model the first try, no reason to try again!!

Dylan and I remained active with Addison. We took her hiking when she was only five days old. She went snowshoeing for the first time at the Lochsa Lodge when she was 8 weeks old. She camped and floated the river her first summer. She has been such a joy. Everything we do, whether visiting the animals at the zoo, going grocery shopping or celebrating holidays is so much more fun with Addison. Not always easier, but definitely much more exciting!

Addison was five months old when we packed up and moved to Salt Lake City. We all adjusted fairly quickly. I was so excited to stay home with her. I didn't have to miss one single second of her. With her changing almost every day I was happy to be able to witness it all. She amazed us everyday with what she understood and how she could communicate with us. I about fell over when I asked her where the wolf was (we have a large wolf painting that hangs in our living room) and she very deliberately looked at the wolf and smiled. Dylan didn't believe she could do it until he saw her. At only six months old she was not only learning but she was communicating what she knew. She began crawling at 9 months, signing "all done" at 10 months, and was walking at 11 months. Talk about constantly changing. We would barely get use to one stage and she was diving into the next.

Our dogs were not at Dog Lake

Dylan did not have his Friday Clinic today! We took advantage of his time off and headed out for a hike. We hiked into Dog Lake, a small mountain lake in Big Cottonwood Canyon. The trail winded through a beautiful aspen forest. The forest floor was littered with wildflowers of all colors. It was green and cool. After hiking for a mile or so we stopped near the creek to eat lunch. Addison enjoyed splashing through the shallow creek saying hello to passing hikers. For the most part the trail climbed gradually. The final half mile or so was a much more drastic climb.
The lake is called Dog Lake for a good reason. I was looking forward to the silent solitude mountain lakes bring in Montana. However, that is not what we found. We found 40 or 50 people littering the lake shore with about half as many dogs running around and destroying the natural silence I was looking forward to. Don't get me wrong, seeing the dogs and families enjoying the lake was great, but annoying at the same time! It was more a mountain pond then a mountain lake, so finding a spot to sit that wasn't already occupied by somebody else was difficult! We sat down at our chosen spot just to have a lady come sit not 10 feet from us. Oh, big city people!! They hike 3 miles or so into a lake to go sit right next to strangers. I feel that they truly lose all function if they are not in someone's personal bubble. I am surprised they don't bring a radio with them, blaring street noise and honking horns!! There were two trails that brought you to the lake, apparently. One trail that allows you to bring your dogs along and the trail we choose. The trail we took was strictly posted, "No dogs allowed. Protect your watershed." Dylan kept saying, "Mason would love it here!" Sad to say, our dogs were not at Dog Lake today. It is so funny how bad Dylan and I feel when we think our dogs are missing out on something! Especially something fun. I see my dad shaking his head and saying, "crazy dog people!!"
I sat huddled on a log watching Dylan and Addison walk around the lake meeting the dogs and chatting to the owners about their dogs! I watched as Addison befriended a giant Bernese Mountain dog, throwing him a stick and squealing with joy as he slimmed her with dog kisses. I watched Dylan hold Addi's hand as she waded into the freezing cold lake. Going out a little further each time. It was a sweet. I love watching Addison and Dylan together. Watching them when they don't know I am watching. They are so adorable together. On a side note, the other morning, Addison woke up in the morning. I went to her crib to say good morning and get her up. She looked at me with excitement and said, "Dadda??" I said, "Oh, dadda is at school." She was so upset, she pushed me away and said, "Noooo, dadda", when I tried to pick her up.

It was a great start to a great weekend. Only the second to the last weekend Addison and I have in Salt Lake. Tonight we are planning on taking Addi to the the drive-in movie theater to see "Ice Age 3". I remember quite vividly seeing "ET" with my parents at the drive-in when I was 3 or so.

Tomorrow is Addison's 2nd Fourth of July. Last year Dave and Emily came down for a visit. We had a great weekend. We went to the (not-so-)Great Salt Lake, cooked ribs and went to Sugarhouse Park (along with literally a million other people) to watch fireworks. I will never forget Dave and Em's face when we saw all the people at the park watching the fireworks. It looked just like an ant hill! We played a little chewing gum prank on the unsuspecting walker-bys!! Oh, how something so childish can be so funny. I remember Addi was amazed by the fireworks. She watched in awe. Hopefully, she will like them this year. Lately, she gets a little startled by thunder and lightening.

A Virgin Blogger: Journal Entry #1

Well, I first considered the old fashioned approach to journaling, a dusty notebook stashed in the bottom of some drawer. After packing and moving for the millionth time a box of old half-finished journals, I opted for a more modern, less bulking approach, an electronic journal or my blog. I figured it could be a different, fun and a not such a middle-school past time! Plus I could use the typing and writing practice. It won't be terrifically inspiring or artistically composed as many blogs are that I read, however, it will be an important history of Powell Family life.

With Addison changing daily and our lives changing almost as often I thought I should be writing it down somewhere. I may share my journal and I may not. I doubt anyone besides me and maybe someday Addi will care to read it.

So with 17 or so days left in Salt Lake City I am faced with mixed emotions. I am so sad to leave our wonderful friends, Kenton, Julie, and Carley. What a blessing they have been to our lives. They have filled the past 15 months with happiness, adventure and laughter. We have seen many hours inside the mass shopping malls, many trips to the local pools and dog parks. We have spent many hours laughing, barbecuing and chatting in our yards and living rooms. We have challenged each other at board games and card games. If I may add, the girls almost always win!! I will never forget Kenton's "drawing" ability. It is like no other I have seen!! We've shared many stories, both tragic and happy. We have had the privilege of being apart of welcoming Carley Denise into the world. What a joy to watch her grow and learn. Addison is equally amazed by her. She often asks for Carley when only a few hours have passed since we have seen her! One of her first "real words" was Carley! BFFs for life! So the thought of leaving such wonderful people is saddening. It isn't too often in life we are able to meet people who end up becoming truly amazing, life long friends.

Leaving the big 'ol city, however, is exciting. I am anxious to leave behind the traffic, the noise, the Mexican Mafia neighbors, and the rude people. I will miss the beautiful scenery, the mountains in the winter are a beautiful sight. I will miss our Smith Clan. It has been great living so close to them. "In the hood", according to Aunt Moni. Addison loves to go see Madi and the kitties. I know she will miss that as well. The great dinners and time spent chatting about anything and everything. I am excited to have my Dylan back. He is so busy and often so stressed he is unrecognizable to me. It will be nice to have a river close that I can kick him onto if need be!! I am excited to be near our families again. However, it has been great to be removed from the drama for a while. I am looking forward to Thursday night dinner with Pa again! I know Addison will love and end up craving her grandparents constant attention.

So, yah, to say the least, I have mixed emotions! The packing is almost complete and now the cleaning must begin. With Dylan, "needing to study", the task is left solely to me. Well, and Addison! She loves to help unpack the boxes as fast as I get them packed. I taped together a box for her toy basket today. Just to test it out to see if the basket would fit I lifted to basket into the box. Addi started to shriek, "Noooooo". She was frantically throwing her favorite toys out the box. Poor girl. I bet she is so confused about all of this. Every day a little more stuff is hidden and her home is looking less and less like her home. The dogs are equally confused. Mason is never more that 3 inches off my heals all day long. You can hear him thinking, "Oh, please don't leave me in Utah. I will be good, I promise." He is as anxious to get back to the land of endless trails and rivers as Dylan is.

Addi has woke up from her nap and is climbing all over me trying to type her own thoughts while emptying my wallet of it's contents (her favorite thing to do). Time to close for now.

Not bad for the first entry!! Hopefully, I will stick to it.