Contentment

Contentment is defined as "happiness with one's situation in life" and "satisfied or showing satisfaction with things as they are".

My whole life I have struggled with contentment. It is a daily battle within myself to not look days, weeks or even years into the future. Always looking ahead, waiting for something to change that will somehow make something better. I often say, "Well, when such and such happens then such and such will get better." I find discontentment constantly with where I am in life, in what I am doing, or not doing.

I am very content with the possessions and things that I have. I have never wanted or needed anything fancy. I have a comfortable, clean, warm roof over my head, a reliable car, wonderful family and friends, food and water. It is not that I feel that I don't have what I need. I feel happy and so blessed. That is why this struggle with in myself is so frustrating. I have no reason to feel this way. I am sure you could psychoanalysis my childhood and come up with a sophisticated, educated psycho babble answer but I prefer to recognize the issue within myself, find a way to deal with it, and then deal with it! Publicly admitting you have a problem is the first step, right???!!! It has been such a problem with me people very close to me have told me, "You just don't know how to be happy." Well, maybe. But I feel it is a contentment issue I struggle with not a happiness issue. Or maybe, happiness and contentment are so interrelated you can't feel one without the other. It has less to do with Dylan, Addi and I as a family, I think it is more of a personal thing. Something to do with the dreams, accomplishments, and plans I had for myself. I definitely feel that someday those dreams will come true. I feel like I put too much thought into that someday, I wish I could just live for this day. Now there I go with the psycho babble!

Having Addison has certainly helped with this issue I have. I don't ever wish time away with her. She grows up fast enough all by herself without me aiding the process by wishing time away! In watching Addison grow I have actually wished I could freeze time right where it is at. In helping her learn and grow she in turn as helped me to grow!

I must admit, the past year especially has been a challenge for me in this department. Looking forward to the day when Dylan is done with school and with God's blessing, someday he has a good job and I don't have to sit awake at night worrying about money and the massive debt we are acquiring! Oh, what will that be like!

1 Timothy 6:6-8 "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." There you have it, we must find contentment to become closer to God.