Breast milk

Every three hours for six and a half weeks, while Landon was in the NICU, I pumped my breast milk. I pumped to provide Landon with fresh milk everyday for his g-tube feedings before he could nurse and I also pumped to keep my milk a'flowin for the day Landon started to nurse. I was able to stockpile a large amount of frozen breast milk while providing the hospital daily deliveries of freshly pumped milk.

Dylan tried talking me into tossing it when he got his elk this past fall. We were able to fit elk and milk in our freezer, so he dropped the debate. But now, a day before the movers get here I needed to get rid of a bunch of it. Some of it is near it's expiration date so I pulled out the very newest milk and tossed the rest. We really don't need it. It is nice to have to use in his cereal and to have around for bottle feedings if I wanted to sneak away for a few hours, but there is just too much to move.

Some might think why bother blogging about this, who cares. I know Dylan doesn't understand the attachment. But it was a difficult thing to do. I think it has something to do with the amount of time I spent pumping alone without my baby. It was a lot of time I sat thinking, crying and praying and wishing that I was holding and feeding my baby instead of the pump. It isn't easy bonding with a hospital grade, industrial strength, blue, bulky milking machine. I know I was doing the best possible thing for my baby. I truly believe the breast milk helped him grow and gain weight before the doctors expected him to.

Pumping isn't fun, it is a lot of work. It is time consuming, painful, unnatural, and tiring - without the positive reinforcement of tiny eyes blinking up at you.

I hate the thought of wasting it! I considered thawing it and bathing in it. Who knows it might be the fountain of youth!!

Good bye breast milk. RIP in the land fill!!

Sound Asleep

Last night I went into Landon's room to check on him one more time before going to bed. I am glad I did. This is how I found him, fast asleep. Poor little nugget, his face was smashed so hard up against his crib! He didn't seem to notice or care!

My other Sleeping Beauty ~ sound asleep next to her Valentine gorilla. I showed Addi the picture the next morning and she said, "Hey, why were you spying on me while I was asleep?!"

A Shooting Day

There is something about having my 9 mm in my hand that makes me thankful to be an American! I support my second amendment right to own a firearm and I know how to use it!

Dylan recently got a new .45 handgun and we went out shooting the other day. Addi is extremely sensitive to loud noises and decided to sit inside the truck with Landon while Dylan and I were shooting. She enjoyed collecting the brass casings for us out of the snow and showed her support with thumb-ups from the truck cab!

Addi shooting a BB gun!

Valentine's Day

I made Addison a special heart egg and toast breakfast. 

Addi and Landon's Valentine's

Dylan didn't get home from work until almost 9 pm. I had a very special candle lite dinner waiting for him - crab legs, steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, chocolate covered strawberries (that Addi made) and our favorite Missoula-made beer. 

Love you Valentine!

 Addi posing with her strawberries! Notice her chocolate mustache after "testing" one!

Our littlest Valentine with his Hug Me valentine bear. Does anything get cuter than this?!

Landon - Month Six

On January 15th Landon turned 6 months old. It was a big month full of many changes. 

: At the beginning of January we introduced solid food, rice cereal and mashed banana. He was very into eating off a spoon. He did very well. After three days or so of eating a small amount in the morning it seemed to be bothering his tummy. He was abnormally fussy, had difficulty sleeping and didn't poop for a couple days. I decided his stomach was not ready for food quite yet. His doctor recommended giving it about a month until we try again. He does want food however. He will crank his almost all the way around (like an owl) to follow a fork full of food into my mouth. When I take a drink of something he opens his mouth wide open. He does enjoy sucking on fruit or veggie pieces. If he is awake he joins us in his Bumbo chair at meal times. He sits on the table starring and smiling and reaching towards food!

After about three weeks we tried again. Success! His belly has handled everything he has tried wonderfully. So far he has had rice cereal mixed with banana, carrots, sweet potato (a favorite), peas, green beans and avocado (a favorite). I enjoy making his baby food from whatever fresh fruits and veggies I have picked up for the week.

 : His newest thing this month is he brings his hands together in front of his body and then brings both interlocked hands together to suck on them. His hands are ALWAYS in his mouth. You can tell he is ready for bed when he is sucking on his two middle fingers, usually his left hand. I think it is so adorable.

: He is more interested in toys and will kick and bump toys and tries to pick up toys off the floor. He loves playing with hanging toys in his bouncy chair. He will only tolerate his swing for a few minutes but loves laying on the floor under his play mat reaching for toys. 

: He has outgrown his infant head insert in his car seat, Ergo pack and bouncy chair! I moved straps up in car seat to make it bigger!

: We have moved him to his crib in his own room and he continues to sleep through the night! He usually goes down for the night about 8:30 pm and wakes up about 6:30 am. After feeding him I lay him in between Dylan and I, hoping for a few more minutes of sleep! Landon coos, talks and kicks! He is ready to get up and play! I was nervous about moving him. I was still regularly waking up to check if he was breathing. He seems to be sleeping better in his crib than he was in his bassinet. It was time and I am handling it ok now!

: He takes two short naps in the morning and a long afternoon nap and sometimes a short evening nap. He goes down really easily. He prefers sleeping on his belly, putting himself to sleep by sucking on his fingers. He no longer takes his binky at nap time, his choice, he prefers his fingers.

: He loves bath time. He outgrew the infant sling in his tub and now sits up in it. Addison requested to have him use a different kind of bath chair that Ellie handed down. He LOVES it! Addi said, "It's okay that it is pink. He likes pink!" He loves kicking at his ducks and frogs! He doesn't fuss anymore when I put lotion on him and closes his eyes in anticipation for having a onsie pulled over his head.

: On the 16th Landon had his 6 month check up. According to the questionnaire he is still very much more like a four month old developmentally. However, he is more developed socially (more like a typical 6 month old). He is very smiley, a lot of times he won't stop smiling long enough to eat! He responds to voices he recognizes and searches for us when he hears our voices. If he is upset talking to him usually calms him down. He will talk back and forth, but he still makes cooing noises, nothing as developed as ma or da. He giggles when he is tickled. He is usually a very quiet baby and just has a face full of smile. He is starting to respond to strangers and will fuss and look away when he is around some one he doesn't recognize (which isn't that often). He notices the dogs and will track them as they walk by or stop to slim his face! He is less developed (more like a typical 4 month old) in his fine motor skills.  At the beginning of the month he started to try and grab objects that sit in front of him, but usually missed his mark! If he gets a hold of a finger or toy he brings it straight to his mouth. But now at the beginning of February he is really good at grabbing objects and successfully getting them into his mouth. He is better at holding onto toys and examining them.  As far as his gross motor skills he gets stronger and stronger each week. He has perfect head control now. He can sit with a pillow behind him for several minutes without tipping over. When he is sleepy he has less lower back control and will bend almost all the way in half! He stands strong and enjoys playing in his bouncy horse, Blue. He rolls from his tummy to his back but has not yet rolled from his back to his tummy. He is close though! He gets his legs twisted all the way over buy his torso has not followed. As far as growing goes he is now 13 pounds and 28 inches long. He is not on the growth charts for a sixth month old but is in the normal range for a four month old. His head circumference measures is in the 50th percentile for a 6 month old! He had three shots at his last check up, including his first flu shot. They really seemed to bother him this time. He was really sleepy, fussy and warm. He is still receiving monthly RSV shots and will do so until April or May.

: He has remained very healthy. The past few days he has come down with a cold - a cough and runny nose. He is handling it well and we haven't felt enough concern to take him to the doctor. His cough is waking him up at night and the past couple nights we have fallen asleep together on the couch. My baby on my chest again! Not going to lie I already miss the tiny baby chest cuddles.

Six months...half a year....hard to believe. After coming home from the NICU our time has been relatively peaceful. Relative to the six months of my pregnancy. He is a very happy baby. A joy. 

sara & ellie come to town

Few things make me happier than when Sara and Ellie are back in Montana. The past week and a half we  all were together laughing, talking, playing, bonding, visiting friends and family.  Did I mention laughing?!

Addison and Ellie were very sweet most of the time. They picked at each other more than they ever have. The majority of the time they played together nicely, but there were several sister-like fights. They big thing for both of them to say was, "Why are you ignoring me?"

Auntie Sara finally had Landon in her arms and rarely was without him! It was the first time Ellie met Landon and she was instantly in love with him.

Sara and Ellie stayed two nights with us in Helena then we all (minus Dylan) headed to Missoula for about a week.

{Sara & I took the below images. We mix our pictures together at the end of our trips. It is hard to give credit for each picture}

The Gangs all Here

Papa's Loves

Mine!

The Kiddos and Sid watching a movie

Matching Jammies! A cousin tradition. 

We LOVE our little Ellie! She is an energetic ball of sweet and sassy wonderfulness!

good night sweet girl.

Ellie LOVES her Uncle Dylan

SOOO Big. Landon 27 weeks old

Papa Cuddles

Playing with Great Granny

Safe in Auntie's arms

Ellie and her kitten Princess

Loadin bullets with Papa

BFFS, Addi, Kaidyn, Ellie

Grandma Bobbi, the kids and I spent the day at the Children's Museum and The Carousel while Sara, Jake, Jack and Jaci went skiing at Snowbowl.

Painting at the Children's Museum

Dress Up!

Carousel!

A great big Cousin

Landon and Grandma

We went sledding with Papa at Miller Creek. The snow was so hard, but we had fun watching Ellie snowboard on a snowboard and Papa snowboarding on a sled!

Sledding! Yay!

Sara, Jake, Jack and Jaci spent a day up at Snowbowl.

Our Sweet Blue Eyes

We watched cousin Riley play hockey and then went to Rick and Shell's house for ribs, hot tubbin' and watching video of Rick's medical mission trip to Columbia! Landon loved all the action of the hockey game and the girls loved watching the Zamboni shine the ice!

Watching Riley play hockey

Great Uncle Rick

Great Aunt Shelly

Grandma and Grandpa Luedtke and all the kids went to Lolo Hot Springs. I had a really bad cold that day so Landon and I stayed home and napped. 

The Gang at Lolo Hot Springs.