Too Quick To Correct

Lately I have been annoying myself at just the sound of my voice. Just listening to myself constantly nag Addison makes me sick.  I want to tell myself to shut up and just let her be. Let her be a kid. A carefree kid.  I feel like I am always assuming that she will make a mistake or a wrong choice and before I even give her the chance, I am correcting behavior that hasn't even happened yet. I am feeling so wound-up and I have no patience for anything she does, right or "wrong."

The silly thing is is she never does anything "wrong". She is very, very well-behaved - sassy and argumentative, but well-behaved. Really she is so trustworthy that I don't have to watch her every move.  I am confident that she will (more often than not) make good choices. She knows right from wrong and for her age is very mature. So what is my problem?

The countdown is on. In less than three months, she will walk, alone, through the tunnel of no return and I am panicking. I am panicking because five years went by too fast and I am not ready to let her go into this world.  I am bearing down on that mama-lasso I have around her and I am pulling it as tight as I can for the last few weeks. Instead of enjoying these weeks of final freedom with my sweet baby girl, I feel like I am ruining them because I am freaking out and taking out on her my nervousness.

I watch her every move like a hawk, hoping to, last minute, correct any behavior that is the least bit unacceptable. She has zero wiggle room lately. She can do no right.

My usual patient, easy-to-please, encouraging, make-me-gag-sappy-positive-reinforcement has vanished and in it's place an ugly mama-monster. I feel so bad especially because I know I am doing it....

I am sorry, honey. And let this be the place where your mama admits she has a problem and chooses to  relax, for your sweet sake.

HELP!

Make-Over

This big sister loves to give make-overs, especially to willing, unknowing little brothers. Addi says to Landon, "Hey lil' buddy, do you want a make-over?"and Landon runs - not walks - into her room.
He loves the attention and when she tells him, "Oh Landon you are so pretty!", he gets really proud.  So when life gives you a lemon (a baby brother instead of a baby sister!), make the best of it while you can. I don't know how many more years he will put up with eye shadow and pony-tails!

Someday these pictures will come in very handy in some sort of ransom/blackmail situation! Yes, I am that kind of mother!

His old man eyebrows will always be groomed!

Ouch! Pony tails hurt!

Our Last Day: Malibu

From Laguna Beach we headed to Malibu for the day. As a Southern California semi-rookie choosing to drive the 30 mile four-lane highway along the Pacific coast from LA to Malibu on a Saturday morning,  could possibly have been one of the worst mistake ever. Not only do the other tourists make the same mistake (or they are used to utter madness and do it anyway),  nearly all the LA locals head to Malibu for a Saturday on the beach. The traffic was intense. Slow and so intense. Let's just paint you a little picture. It took us one hour to drive 16 little miles.  Had mine sister not been on the other side of all the madness we would not have persevered.

After a little police intervention at the local McDonalds (I'll just say we were issued a ticket and are heads are still spinning in pure and innocent confusion as to what it was we did wrong). All we did was turn left off of the main road into a parking lot while attempting to get lunch and we were cited for running a red light, with no lights nearby I might add, okay then!  ---  We were soon our way, after everything that is California was properly cursed out,  to be reunited with Auntie.

After some parking issues we were able to finally meet at El Pescador Beach and spent several hours together on the beach.

Sometimes in life, well ... life happens. Things get said, feelings get hurt and trust is lost.  When relationships are challenged and pushed hard enough, they can near extinction. Being reunited in the most randomness of spots, all that shattered glass from the past few months was starting to be remolded, -- into something a little different.  All that mattered in this very moment was that we were together, in the present, and all was good.

Addi was so sweet and really missed her Auntie.

Landon was tired and not feeling well again, so he tried to rest on the beach blanket.

The beautiful path to the beach.

We held baby crabs.

We had lunch together at a local dive called Neptune's Net. It was a fun place full of every kind of person there is - from barefooted surfer dudes to motorcycle babes to men in suits, to us regular people with eyes wide open trying to soak it all in.

 We said our sad goodbyes to Auntie, hugged her extra tight and wished we didn't live so far apart. We made our way back to LA and had a relaxing evening in the hotel. We flew home the next morning.

Daddy said goodbye to California, he said, for the very last time! We will see! ;)

It was an amazing vacation.

Days 6 & 7: Laguna Beach, cont.

Day 6: Cupcakes, Shopping, Marine Mammal Rescue Center, Beach Play & Crystal Cove 

After breakfast we went to downtown Laguna Beach. We shopped for souvenirs and Addi had a delectable cupcake in an adorable, all pink, cupcake shop.

We went and visited the baby sea lion and seal pups at the marine mammal rescue center. Ever since Addi could talk she has wanted to be a "whale girl". What she means by whale girl is that wants to help rescue hurt whales and other sea creatures (including mermaids).  It was a cool facility where were able to watch the growing pups in their enclosures. Addi and I were able to snag a little time to talk one-on-one with one of the employees. I explained to her Addi's interest and the women explained to Addi exactly what happens at the center from the time they go out to rescue, until the time the animal is released.

After lunch at the hotel we headed for some beach play time.

Landon on the safety of his blanket.                      AND                                              Landon on the sand!

We finally located the place on the beach where we were wanting to have dinner  the previous night. Tucked away in a little canyon sits Crystal Cove. While waiting for our table at the beachside cafe, we had an hour to play on the beach, collect treasure and admire the foaming blue-tinted waves. We were able to witness the most amazing sunset drop into the ocean. During our San Diego vacation, I took (my timer took) a silhouette picture of Addi, Daddy and I against a glowing sunset ocean (Landon was in my belly, so he was there too!) and it has become a little tradition of ours. This year's picture, in my humble opinion, is just stunning and I cannot wait to blow it up and hang it on our new wall!

Dinner was so beautiful, so relaxing and so delicious. Daddy was very proud of Addi when she choose to share his filet mignon instead of ordering a kid's chicken strip meal.  I just kept thinking, if we encourage a taste for filet mignon, then very, very soon these special dinners are going to double in price! The kids were so excited when they each were brought a Smore for dessert. They've never had candlelit Smores before!

Day 7: Our agenda for our last full day in Laguna Beach was this....

After spending the morning at the beach, the kids took naps at the hotel and I snuck away to get my hairs all did up in a real salon.  At times I had two people working on my hair at once and also about five large brushes stuck in my hair at one time! I felt like a celebrity!

We had giant brew house burgers for dinner at the local brewery.

We were sitting at Main Beach watching the sun set and I spotted a pod of dolphins just off the beach! They were my first dolphins I'd seen in the wild. Addi was able to see them and watch for them to resurface. They were feeding up the beach, headed towards our hotel. We decided to walk along the beach and follow them. They swam near the beach and we were able to spot them many times as we walked back to the hotel. 

It was a beautiful evening.

Tomorrow we head back towards LA and we get to see Auntie Sara!