Too Quick To Correct

Lately I have been annoying myself at just the sound of my voice. Just listening to myself constantly nag Addison makes me sick.  I want to tell myself to shut up and just let her be. Let her be a kid. A carefree kid.  I feel like I am always assuming that she will make a mistake or a wrong choice and before I even give her the chance, I am correcting behavior that hasn't even happened yet. I am feeling so wound-up and I have no patience for anything she does, right or "wrong."

The silly thing is is she never does anything "wrong". She is very, very well-behaved - sassy and argumentative, but well-behaved. Really she is so trustworthy that I don't have to watch her every move.  I am confident that she will (more often than not) make good choices. She knows right from wrong and for her age is very mature. So what is my problem?

The countdown is on. In less than three months, she will walk, alone, through the tunnel of no return and I am panicking. I am panicking because five years went by too fast and I am not ready to let her go into this world.  I am bearing down on that mama-lasso I have around her and I am pulling it as tight as I can for the last few weeks. Instead of enjoying these weeks of final freedom with my sweet baby girl, I feel like I am ruining them because I am freaking out and taking out on her my nervousness.

I watch her every move like a hawk, hoping to, last minute, correct any behavior that is the least bit unacceptable. She has zero wiggle room lately. She can do no right.

My usual patient, easy-to-please, encouraging, make-me-gag-sappy-positive-reinforcement has vanished and in it's place an ugly mama-monster. I feel so bad especially because I know I am doing it....

I am sorry, honey. And let this be the place where your mama admits she has a problem and chooses to  relax, for your sweet sake.

HELP!