Landon - 5 days old

Five whole days have passed since our sweet boy Landon was born. It has been impossible at times, but the improvements our little man has made have been incredible. We can say that he is doing well. Every day he gets a little better and a little less swollen.

- Today they removed his chest drain that was draining fluid from the chest cavity. This afternoon his chest x-ray was clear and looked great.

- Yesterday they removed his urine catheter. He is creating a high volume of pee-pee and has starting pooping. This is so wonderful as his body is working to extract all that fluid on its own. I get to change his diapers when I am there. I was so touched to be able to do this. Simple mommy instincts have had to be suppressed and being able to provide this simple thing for my son was incredible. I broke down and cried the first time.

-We are swabbing his mouth with my breast milk to slowly introduce it to his system. We use a milk soak Q-tip and he has starting sucking on it like a lollipop. He seems to enjoy it and it will calm him down if he is agitated.

-His ductus in his heart closed naturally, as it does eventually in most newborns. There was some confusion and people were getting information that he was needing heart surgery to close a hole in his heart. This was never the case. His heart is doing very well and functioning normally.

-Last night we saw a drop in his billirubin levels. They put two more billi-lights on him to help bring the levels down. This afternoon the level did go down a tiny amount. If we don't see an improvement he may need an exchange transfusion to get those broken down cells out of his system.

-He has been weaned off all of his blood pressure meds. His pain meds have been significantly decreased. This has made him more active, responsive and awake. He often stretches out his arms and legs and will stay awake for longer periods of time.

-Almost everyday they wean him a little bit more off the ventilator. I don't fully understand this but they turn something down often! He tries to grasp his breathing tubes. The nurse said at his age they are aware of the tube and will fight it at times. Our Landon just tries to take his out!

-He has been taking breaths on his own. So much so that they made an adjustment to allow him to relax a bit and let the machine do the work for him.

-He looks so much different than 5 short days ago. He had so much swelling in his head we couldn't tell where the swelling ended and where Landon began. Now he is able to open both eyes. He will follow voices when we talk to him. We can see his chin, cheeks, neck and eyebrows. We can even see his teeny tiny eyelashes and folds in his eyelids. His facial features are becoming much more defined and match his little nose and lips. His arms are no longer swollen and they match his legs now, long and skinny. His has his mammas long fingers and toes. His covered in white fuzzy hair. His chest and abdomen have lost a lot of fluid as well. He actually has some loose skin under his armpits. He gets more and more proportional every day. He looks different everyday.

-They estimate without the fluid he weighs about 3 lbs, 12 oz or so.

-He gets less agitated when his nurses move, touch or change things on him. He tolerates touch, light and noise a little better. It used to skyrocket his heart rate and he would flail his arms and legs. This happens less often now.

Our little glow worm, under the billi-lights

Landon, 4 days old

Dylan, Addi and I are doing ok. It has not been easy. But we are taking it one day at a time. The NICU nurses and doctors are amazing. We have full faith that he is the best hands possible. They can't believe how well he is doing. We appreciate the continued support, thoughts, prayers and messages.

Physically, I am doing pretty great. I had my incision staples out yesterday. I never had to be on any prescribed narcotics or other pain meds. Ibuprofen and Tylenol worked great knocking out the pain. I feel like I am healing pretty quickly. Emotionally, I ache. I never knew these feelings were possible. I don't think I can even begin to explain it. I physically hurt for him. I hurt when I am with him and hurt differently when I am not...

We are still trying to figure out logistics as far as our sweet boy being in Missoula and the rest of our life being in Helena. Dylan had to return to Helena a couple days this week for work. He gets back to Missoula tomorrow. I can't imagine how hard it has been on him not being here. Of course he just does it, that is Dylan. Doing what has to be done to take care of his family. I am not sure what will happen with my job and insurance. It will all come together. There is just so much to think about.