A Great Trade!

We said goodbye to the 'ol Subaru Forester and are excited to announce the newest member of our family…a 2003 Chevy Trailblazer! Thanks for the great trade Lena, Aunt Merna and Uncle Ron! It is an amazing blessing for our family. We are in love!

The last ride in the Subaru!

Lena driving off in her Suby! Look at that smile and all the gear piled up – the way a Suby should look!

ups and DOWNS

Life isn’t always a bundle of roses. Ups and downs are apart of everyone’s life. We all have some sort of hurdle to overcome. Sometimes we are forced to deal with grown up situations and make hard decisions.

Dylan and I are feeling discouraged. Discouraged by the amount of student loan debt that is haunting us. We are completely unsure of what to do next. We totally understood the amount of student loans it would take to get Dylan through school. Now that the bills are rolling in it is almost too much to deal with.

We are happy that we were able to remain in Montana after he finished school, close to our home and family and friends. Dylan loves, loves, loves his job right now. He is doing an amazing job and has moved on from legally having to be babysat all the time and now often works alone as the sole provider in the clinic. He truly enjoys his work and is so happy with the people he works with. He loves his schedule – three 12 hour shifts a week – yay, who wouldn’t! The people Dylan works with just love him. Whenever I am in the clinic someone is ranting about how wonderful and how smart and how much of a joy he is to work with! I am very proud of him. He had a goal in mind and achieved it and works very hard to provide a wonderful life for us. Not only that, he loves his job. How many of us get to say that and mean it? There are two downsides to his job. One, they don’t provide or offer health insurance and two, in my opinion they do not pay him what he is worth. Occasionally he is able to pick up an extra shift, but they are weary about paying him too much overtime.

I miss so much being a stay at home mom. I miss having a clean house, having healthy food in the house and making healthy dinners every night. I miss not having a huge pile of dirty laundry in the basement. I miss taking the dogs hiking everyday. I miss having the freedom to go visit Sara pretty much whenever I wanted to! But most of all I miss my Addi. I miss our art projects and nature walks and trips to the park. I miss listening to her talk all day long. I miss her jokes and silly dances. By the time I pick her up after work, get dinner made and give her a bath it is time for her bedtime story and I am saying goodnight to her.

Ideally, I would love to work part time. Allowing Addi to go to preschool 3 days a week and allowing me adult connection outside the house. Part time jobs that pay anything are hard to find.

Most days my cubicle feels like a torture chamber. I am so grateful for a secure job with wonderful benefits – especially in this economy. Without this job I would not have been able to get pregnant right now. But spending 40 hours a week stuck in a cubicle doing a job that means nothing to me is torture. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I definitely know that answering 40 calls a day and getting verbally abused by the people on the other end of the phone is not what I have dreamt about. I am really regretting the decisions that I made regarding my education and career path. IF only I had known…

When we moved here we said after 6 months we would re-evaluate our situation. The time has come.

These are the options we are now considering:

We had always talked about finding a loan repayment opportunity to help alleviate some our student loan burden. Should we move our lives to literally the middle of nowhere for 2-3 years for a loan repayment job? We look for an opportunity weekly. But these jobs are usually in the most remote, rural parts of the country with the nearest town 130 miles away.

Should we give away our dogs? That would allow us to move into an apartment and save a ton of money each month. The thought of doing that breaks my heart. We made a commitment to those silly animals and abandoning them is not right. Kya has been apart of my life for 6 years. She was the one who cuddled me unconditionally when Danny died and any other time that I needed her. How could we give Mason away? He would go literally insane without Dylan. And Pug-Pug, that little fatty has had a hard enough life without his family abandoning him again.

Should we move to a bigger city to make more money? Most places outside of Montana pay more. Back to Salt Lake City? Somewhere near Seattle?

Should we stay put? Once Dylan gets 2-3 years under his belt, job salary increase and more opportunities are available because he would no longer be considered a new grad. If we decide to stay here maybe I could take in a couple kids to watch during the day. But then how do we afford insurance?

Should I go back to school? I have been debating returning to school so I could get a job that I actually enjoy. The thought of having 2 kids and going to school full time scares me. I am considering Ultrasound Tech. The nearest school is in Bellevue, WA and it would take 2 years to complete.

How am I going to be able to stay home for at least a few months after the new baby is born? Where will we get health insurance? How will we afford to send an infant and Addi to daycare fulltime? Thinking about sending my new baby to daycare tears me apart…I can’t do that. So should we hire a nanny to come to the house?

I am also considering Sara’s idea to sail to a remote, un-inhabited island and live off the land!

Both Dylan and I are craving stability. We are always thinking 6 months ahead. Where are we going to go? Where are we going to work? What, when, who….We want a house that we can move into and never have to leave again! I want a garden. I want to watch newly planted trees grow big. I want swing set! I want a door frame with notches in it, marking the growth of our children! I don’t want to think, “Well, in 6 months our life can actually begin.” We want to think about planning a vacation, not planning another possible move.

All we can do is have faith in prayer. Have faith that the right opportunity will present itself to us - where we are meant to be is where we will end up.

Weekend at the Lake

Addi and I spent Saturday and Sunday at the Placid Lake Cabin. The whole fam-damily was there, including Moni, Mike and Madi and Mom, Mark and the kids! I was so great. I kept it low key due to being so sick and still so tired and weak. Addi had a blast playing with Grandma Bobbi and all her cousins and aunts and uncles in the warm cabin. We played a bit in the snow, sledding and walking on the lake. Addison wasn’t too sure about the snowmobiles. Uncle Rick harassed her constantly with his snowmobile helmet on, trying to coax her onto a snowmobile. No thank you! She wouldn’t get anywhere near those loud, fast things! Uncle Ron was gleaming, showing off his new Rubicon! I tried convincing him that he actually bought it for me, but he wouldn’t acknowledge those comments!

Watching the big kids sled, ski and snowmobile.

Dancing in the cabin.

Sledding with Grandma Bobbi.

Uncle Rick - the dictator!

My adorable snow-bunny.

Reading books with Grandma Bobbi.

Great-Aunt Shelly!

Perfect Addi-sized sledding hill!

Snow Angels on the lake! Yay!



Keeping a close eye on Uncle Rick and his snowmobile!

ADDI-ISMS

I have been thinking lately that I really want a bunny. I haven’t mentioned it to Addi because I didn’t want to get her hopes up. Well, the other day I had made up my mind that we were going to get a baby bunny. Dylan was out of town, so that hurdle was absent!! I said to Addi, “Mommy really wants a baby bunny. Do you?” Addi replied, “No. I mean they are cute and everything, but I don’t want one. We already have three dogs!” I almost collapsed. I was not expecting her to say that! What three year old says no to a baby bunny! That was enough to curb my dreams of a baby animal in the house, for now!

Out of the blue Addi said to Dylan, “Dad you are not the boss. Me and my mom are!” He was not impressed with that. He acted like I coached her. No way, she just knows the way things work already!!

Addi and I were reading a bedtime story. And part of the story talked about a sheep's wool being used for making sweaters. Addi was confused and I tried to explain to her that farmers shave off the sheep's wool and then make sweaters. First she replied, "Sheep wear sweaters?" She kills me. I said, "No, the sweaters are for people." Confused again, she said, "Well, my sweatshirts are not made out of wool they are made out of sweatshirt." Maybe you had to be there, but it was so funny.

Auntie Sara and Ellie mailed us a huge box for Valentine's Day. It was full of all sorts of goodies. The other day Addi and I came home and I was unlocking the front door. Addi said, "Oh darn. No giant box from Sara today!"

Addi was being all crazy in our tiny bathroom the other night, dancing around and swinging her head like a punk rocker. I warned her to stop or she was going to hurt herself and sure enough she smacked her eyebrow/face on the sink so hard. I thought for sure she would have a giant black eye. All she got was a little purple dot below her eyebrow. So yesterday she picked out an all purple outfit - purple dress, purple shirt, purple sweater and purple tights. She said she needed to match the purple dot on her eye!!

Addi was having a teenage moment. We were out to eat and she was not obeying. She got in trouble and was not impressed with us. She said with a big pouty lip, "I don't like you guys anymore. I want to go to Papa's house, because I like him." Oh, dear. Sometimes we get a nice little preview of Addi in 10 years! Lord help us!!!

Sick of Being Sick

Besides my foot surgery a few years ago, the past two weeks have been the most awfully painful of my life. I have been so sick. On top of horrible morning sickness, all-day and night-long sickness, I came down with a terrible flu-like virus that literally knocked me down for a full week. I was throwing up, had a mild fever and was so weak I couldn’t stand in the shower. I lost 6 pounds. The following week, after returning to work for one day, I got a horrible sinus infection. It was so painful it felt like all my upper teeth were abscessing and my jaw hurt so bad I couldn’t chew or yawn. Luckily, twenty-four hours after getting antibiotics I started to feel better. Now over two weeks later I am back to work and feeling pretty normal. My morning sickness seems to be passing. As long as I eat all the time I don’t get too nauseous anymore!

Before I got the virus Dylan had it. He fully recovered a full two weeks later. Luckily, Addison only developed a little cold.

Addison's Favorites - 3 years, 3 months

I started this post when Addi was pretty small! It's a fun way to track how she changes and grows.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, Brown paper packages tied up with strings, These are a few of my favorite things..."

As Addison grows her favorite things change!

Her favorite.....

Book: Her Bible. Every night she asks to be read a story from her Bible. It is the Bible Dylan and I gave her for her first Christmas. Her favorite story is the "one with the whale."

Toy: Princess Dress Up clothes.

Breakfast: Strawberry Cereal, her and daddy bicker over who ate all the strawberries!

Dinner: Macaroni and Cheese, she will asks for this for breakfast!

Way to be silly: She makes funny faces and silly noises. She is always doing something to make us laugh. She has a hysterical sense of humor.

Way to be bossy: Saying please and thank you with her is like pulling teeth. She often sounds bossy because she struggles using her magic words. She is bossy to the dogs. She does not like it when the dogs get to close to her project or activity and gets very upset if they step on whatever she has going on on the ground.

Thing to wear: Dresses and skirts and fun, colorful tights. Oh, yes, and of course her princess sparkle shoes.

Word: She talks really well. Some of the things she comes up with blows my mind. The words she uses and how she uses them in the correct context amazes me.

Color: Purple and pink and any combination of the two!

Person to call: She doesn't like to talk on the phone anymore. She barely speaks to Ellie on the phone anymore.

Snack: Blueberries, cherry tomatoes, fruit snacks and yogurt.

Animal: She loves all animals. She has been asking for a bunny!! She doesn't like anything with dinosaurs and recently cleaned out her movie collection and anything dinosaur she sent to Ellie, because they are too scary!

Movie: Tinker Bell movies and Dora the Explorer

Game: She loves board and card games.

Song: She loves to sing and make up her own songs. She likes blasting "the body song" on her little radio and dancing.

Thing to do: Go to the carousel. Swimming at the hot springs.

Place to play: At the park.

Way to help mommy: She enjoys helping with the cooking and with the dishes. She loves to bake.

Way to help daddy: She enjoys helping daddy with anything outside, poo duty, shoveling, loading the truck.

Time of the day: School day. Mornings aren't too bad anymore and she is already for bedtime. She LOVES her days at school. She is so happy there and she just loves her friends. It has been the best thing for her. She has grown and matured so much.

Way to exercise: She spends a lot of time jumping on her trampoline.

Chore: She fights chores these days. She is helpful by putting her back pack, shoes and coat away after she gets home.

Place to "go-go": Anywhere we can walk to, ice cream store or the toy store.

New life skill: She is able to sleep through the night without a Pull-Up on. We are very proud of her and love that we don't have to buy those expensive things anymore!

Thing to do like Daddy: Fish. I am the bad guy when I say it's too cold to go fishing!

Thing to do like Mommy: Fix my hair, put on makeup and wear boots.

Big person thing to do: Put on make up in the morning. She tries to curl her eyelashes

Way to be sweet: Addi has always been sweet in a raw, natural way and she still is. She is so caring and considerate. She sincerely asks me how my days was. If I am obviously feeling sick or sleepy she plays quietly and checks on me frequently asking if she can bring me anything. She often offers to rub my back and will rub my face when we are cuddling. She is so tender and kind.

Accessory: Nail polish. Her nails need to be re-done at least once a week. She often reminds me that her nails need to be re-painted!

Thing to try and get away with: Everything. She definitely pushes her limits. She has some trouble listening sometimes and getting her to focus on what you are asking has been a big challenge for us recently. She is very hardheaded, independent, stubborn and adorably manipulative -- she is three!!! She has some difficulty discerning being goofy and being disobedient. She thinks if it's funny then it is ok to do...stay tuned!

Pregnancy Beginning Bliss

I had that little feeling in the back of my mind or womb (or where ever that power comes from) that I may be pregnant. Before I got a positive test I took a test each week after I had my IUD out...I know...it was only two tests in total...but I was so excited that we were "trying"! Not that we were "trying" for long! Turns out my mama sense was completely accurate!

I waited to take a pregnancy test until the day I should have gotten my period, Saturday January 8th, so that it would pick up the pregnancy hormone. After peeing on the test I set it on the window ledge and got in the shower. I non-chalantly peeked at the test a few minutes later, fully anticipating only one pink line. I only had my UID removed 3 shorts weeks earlier, there is no way I would be pregnant already...well, I was! Two pink lines caused me to shriek, scaring Addi and sending Dylan busting through the bathroom door ready to fight off what ever was attacking me! I pointed at the test and started crying. The rest is a blur. Dylan and Addi were still re-cooperating from me screaming, but they were both smiling and giddy! The rest of the day went pretty much normal. We finished packing for Dylan's birthday weekend at the forest service cabin.

Later that day at the cabin, Dave, Em, Dylan, Addi and I were standing in the cabin waiting for the fire to warm up and Dylan asked me sarcastically if I wanted anything to drink. I knew what he was getting at and I said no thank you. He said, "Why not?" Em looked at me and said, "You are pregnant!" I said, "Yes." Then we all started jumping and screaming and hugging!

Later that night at the cabin I was kneeling down checking on the fire and Addi came up to me and rubbed my back and cocked her head and said, "Momma, are you doing ok?" I said, "Yes, honey I am." And then she said, "Well, is my baby sister doing ok too?" She is so sweet and caring. She is convinced it is a girl! I tell her that it may be a boy we have to wait until it is born to find out. She said, "No, it's a girl!"

As far as symptoms go the only thing I noticed was I was really hungry for the past 2 weeks or so. I mean starving. I felt like I was eating all day long for 2 weeks straight. I just thought it was a nasty side effect of being stagnant in my cubicle all day. I even joked with Deaette that if I didn't know better I would think I was pregnant. She said, "that wouldn't be such a bad thing!" I said, "Well, I know that I am not." So funny...because I was and had no idea!

3rd week from last period, 1st week pregnant (I think) - I am starting to feel nauseous when I get hungry. But as soon as I eat I am better. My boobs are starting to feel tender and of course I am exhausted all the time. I am feeling excited and grateful to be pregnant again. I am feeling a little worried about my relationship with Addi and how having a new baby will affect that. I am worried about work and insurance and possibly giving birth out of Montana. I am constantly reading about pregnancy and looking at fetus pictures on my phone! It is so amazing to think a little one is growing inside me again. It fascinates me. At this point we have decided to wait to tell our families until we see the doctor, but I want to tell everyone...now!

1/16 - I have my first doctor appointment to get lab work done on Wednesday. By my calculations I should be about 4 weeks. And then the following week I go for my first ultrasound! Hopefully, we will hear a heart beat. My boobs are really tender now and I switched to sports bras. They are so much more comfortable, but makes by boobs look so ridiculous and flattened! That really is the only symptom, so far!

1/17 - I got out Addi's pregnancy journal and the three of us read through it. With Addi, I started morning sickness, strongly, at 4 weeks and it lasted through the first trimester. So if it's a little girl, like Addi, Sara & I believe it is, I should be starting to feel sick in a few days. We are not going to find out the sex of the baby this time around. We found out with Addi and enjoyed knowing and anticipating, but would like to do it the other way this time! I really want to start looking and feeling pregnant. I want everyone to know! I am hungry a lot and eat small meals every couple hours. Addi pretends she is growing a baby sister in her belly too! Addi took my first belly pictures the other day! I am feeling chubby. With Addi's pregnancy I still had a flat, tone, firm belly at 8 weeks and didn't get the chub until close to the end of the first trimester. I don't think that will be the case this time!! I am embracing the chub and am looking forward to my big 'ol belly.

My belly with embryoII, barely more that a ball of cells -- 3 weeks and a few days. (actually 5 weeks, preg)

Addi wanted a belly shot also!

1/20 - I went to the doctor yesterday for some general lab work. The nurse was unable to guesstimate a due date because of some crazy dates that I had my last period. What I thought was my last period may have been implantation bleeding. Which means I got pregnant the very same week I had my IUD out!!! We have to wait until next Friday at our first ultrasound to get a due date. It's possible that I may be a couple weeks further along than I think.

I get so bloated by the end of the day. I feel like exploding. I get flashes of queeziness, lightheadedness and being out of breath. Some foods are starting to taste really gross and I have definitely noticed my super sonic pregnancy smeller has kicked in. Co-worker's afternoon popcorn or random leftovers at lunch time sends my stomach upside down! This past week I have been asleep by 8 pm. I am tired all the time and sneak cat naps in my cubicle at work! Addi like to rub my belly. The past couple days she will comment, "Mom, I think your belly is bigger!"

1/23 -- Ugghhhh, "all-day-long sickness" hit me hard this weekend. I feel terrible. My early pregnancy routine of waking up out of a dead sleep early, at around 4 am, nauseous, exhausted and light-headed has kicked in. I move to the couch with a couple crackers and a glass of water and desperately try to fall back asleep. I am not looking forward to moving this routine to my cubicle tomorrow. Dylan got me some ginger candies and lemon drops which sort of help. Ginger ale makes me even more nauseous, but saltines and cold glass of water seems to help the most. It doesn't last forever right! Only about six more weeks!! I slept most of the weekend and still feel so tired and weak. For me "all-day-long sickness" feels like when you have the flu and you feel like if you would just throw up you would feel so much better, but with my pregnancy sickness, I rarely throw up, so I never get the relief I crave.

I am looking forward to Friday, when we have our first ultrasound! Addi keeps talking about getting a picture of her baby sister! I am feeling anxious about not feeling well at work. Work is difficult enough when I feel well.

1/30 - Oh, it has been one of the most difficult weeks ever. I have been so sick all day at work. I went home one morning and spend my days heaved over my knees, praying the day will be over. If I have to put another saltine in my mouth I might have a break down. I need to find some other food that tastes good and that I can snack on all day.

1/31 - We had our first ultrasound on Friday. We saw and heard the little heartbeat! It was an amazing sound that brought tears to my eyes. Addi was fascinated and just stared at the monitor. The ultrasound dates the pregnancy a little further along then what I had thought. We are currently 7 weeks, 1 day, with a due date of September 18th. That means we got pregnant the very same week I had my UID removed. So much for what the doctor said, "It could take 3-6 months to get pregnant!" As my dad said, "You are you mother's daughter - fertile!" At this doctor appointment I already gained 7 lbs...I can't get full!!

This past weekend we went to Missoula to spread the news to our family and friends. The word spread like wildfire and before I knew it the news was flying over the wavelengths of Facebook! I told my boss at work today and am planning on telling my co-workers later this week. After all the people that I know have been told I will start telling strangers!!!

I was able to get my hands on a giant platter of Hoagieville Cheese Fries...I have been dreaming of them for days! They were exactly what I imagined them to be....perfect, cheesy satisfaction!!! The crazy thing is that is the exact same thing I craved early one when I carried Addi!!

I felt better at work today. I was able to snack all day long and barely got nauseous.

Happy 29th Birthday Dylan

Dave and Emily came over to Helena and joined us in Dylan's 29th Birthday celebration. I rented a forest service cabin in the woods near Canyon Ferry, in the Big Gulch area. It had no electricity, no indoor plumbing, only wood heat -- our kind of luxury! When we were switching out the propane on the lantern, the only light we had were several tiny tea light candles. Besides the nauseating stench of marijuana that about forced us to leave, we had a great time.

I made a gourmet meal, as gormet as I get cooking on top a wood heat stove. I made steamed crab legs, seasoned rice, artichoke, french bread and a yummy salad. Dave said, "I have never had crab in the woods before!" For desert we had Grandma Marcy's triple chocolate bundt cake, aka Dylan's special birthday cake. And for breakfast I made eggs, sausage and pancakes!

We played several rounds of Monopoly and drank gallons of hot chocolate and cider. After going on a property buying spree, Addi would say, "No, I don't want to buy it. It's too expensive!"

It was cozy warm all night thanks to Em's insomnia keeping the fire stocked and even re-starting it three different times!

We did some hiking through the charred forest, although the crunchy hard snow was hard on the dog's pads and the bitter wind was hard on us.

New Year's 2011 Powell Palooza Weekend

We spent New Year's Weekend home in Missoula. Friday afternoon we drove into town and took Jessica home. I was sad to drop her off. I loved having her with us this past week, because she is my amazing little sister and for other very selfish reasons! I came home and not only did she take wonderful care of Addi for over 8 hours each day, she cleaned and cooked dinner! She even had spare energy for sister talk and evening movie marathons! It was amazing!



We spent some time at mom's chatting and opening gifts. We moved into (Yes, it looks like we are moving back in every time we show up for a weekend!!) Papa's and said hello before we went to dinner at Dylan's parents.

On Friday night Jeff and Spencer made ribs for dinner. We ate, laughed and ate and laughed (A Powell family tradition) until Kendall and Josh arrived from Alabama. After they got settled we dove into our Powell Clan Christmas. We gathered in Jeff & Deaette's living room and passed gifts to each other. It had been almost exactly one full year since all of us were together. I just love these people, they are so much fun. By the end of the night Addi had re-warmed up to crazy Uncle Spencer (he named himself!) and was started to understand why he is "crazy" uncle Spencer!

About 1/2 through the night Spencer gave us his gift, a little, yet very important lesson in Australia culture. He fed us TimTams and VeggieMite! Not only did he give us the little Australia treats he made each one of us try them...with every one else watching our expressions and reactions! I really wish I would have been videoing the whole thing. It was one of the most hilarious things that has every happened in my life. The picture don't tell the whole story, unfortunately. Spencer started with Dylan, handing him a little piece of roll with a smudge of VeggieMite on it. VeggieMite comes in a tooth paste looking tube and Australians eat it like we eat peanut butter, spread on toast or rolls for breakfast. Well, we all thought Spencer made Dylan eat dog food by his reaction!! After torturing Dylan with the VeggieMite, Spencer handed him a TimTam. It's called a TimTam Slam -- You bite one corner off each end of the chocolate cookie and use the cookie like a straw to suck warm milk through it. The trick of a TimTam slam is to suck up a little milk then immediately put the whole cookie in your mouth or else it will disintegrate all over everything. This trick was not properly demonstrated by Jeff, as he ended up with most of his TimTam Slam all over his lap!

By the time Spencer made it back to me, Addi was shuttering in my lap afraid he was going to make her do it! The VeggieMite wasn't cheesecake or anything, but it wasn't that bad. It short of tasted fish-like and really, really salty. I have had worse! The TimTam Slam, on the other hand, was delicious and I could have, no that is not true, I did have had several!!!

The very first minutes of 2011 we were posing for a family picture. I was doing my normal annoying camera lady routine, barking orders and telling everyone to hurry so the clock would say midnight! Dylan pointed out, "It's ok. Its not like we can't set the clock back a little bit!" Well, in my world that is not ok. My pictures are authentic and it was exactly the first seconds of 2011 when our family picture snapped!! For several minutes we had to watch Dylan pose with his Australian memento from Spencer, a nice pair of kangaroo testicles. I didn't post the really nasty one....too nasty for my G rated family blog! Spencer and Jeff wont' forget it though!! I know...it's a Man-Powell thing: disgusting, but hilarious!

On New Year's Day we had lunch together at the Chicken Coupe and then headed to the Double Arrow Resort in Seeley Lake for a horse-drawn sleigh ride. It was dumping snow in Missoula, but by the time we got to Seeley the sky was bright, blue and the sunshine was sparkling off the snow. Tug and Willy were very sweet and gave us a great ride through the snow. After spending an hour or so sipping hot chocolate by the fire in the lodge Dylan, Addi and I drove back to Helena to face Monday morning..uugghhh...