The three rehearsals prior to recital day had it's ups and downs for Addi. We all know that anything new to her is so scary and creates so much anxiety for her little self. The environment was new, there was a new group of new, unfamiliar kids and she had no idea what she would be doing. I feel for her. I know all too well panic attacks and anxiety issues. As hard as those first few moments are for her, I hold her hand, give her as much positive reinforcement as my patience can handle and literally push her to overcome those emotions and just do it. In the end she is usually so happy so did. A familiar face, a good friend or trusting adult always, always puts her at ease. When we walk into a new situation I literally pray for someone to be there that she trusts. Our wonderful preschool aide and friend, Jaim was there (hallelujah!) helping with rehearsal and I was so, so grateful for that. I was able to peel Addi from my leg and reattach her to Jaim's! Jaim and her daughters have become close to Addi. She works wonders with a classroom full of energetic, screaming preschoolers and she certainly knows Addi well, including all her apprehensions. With Ms. Jaim and Addi's music teacher, Ms. Celeste, I knew she was in good hands and would end up having a great time.
We had only one major meltdown at rehearsal. Addi came home with a tear stained face and she was ready to quit. She wanted to throw her bells away and never go back to music again. I had no idea what really happened that day at rehearsal. All she would say was that she did not want to be the princess and she did not want to talk about it. I gave her some space and hoped she would eventually tell me. Ms. Celeste ended up calling and explained to me, unknown to her at the time, what had happened. The previous day Addi was thrilled to have been chosen to play the princess in their puppet show. She was so excited to get to dressed up like a princess, hat and all. She had been informed by a fellow older boy classmate that the princess has to "air" kiss him, the prince. Addi was mortified to learn from him that she would have to kiss him. Poor girl. That of course was not the case, but I can only imagine the total meltdown inside my baby girl when she thought she would have to, ew, kiss a boy in front of everyone. She doesn't understand liking boys, having boyfriends and certainly kissing boys is just so embarrassing and totally uncomfortable for her. Myself, Ms. Jaim and Ms. Celeste were able to talk to her, work through the issue, and she eventually got over it. She decided being the horse in the puppet show was a better fit -- for sure no kissing boys would be part of it!
A last minute practice in the car on the way to the recital! I'm sorry honey, but if you don't know it by now .... maybe you'll practice more next year!!
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| Last minute practice in the car on the way to recital! |
She was called to stage for her class, The Blue Bug's turn to perform. I always hold my breath a little when she has to do something that would be so, so scary for me and although all she sees is a smile on my face, I get so nervous for her. She has overcome so much in her little life, way more than I have been able to overcome. I wish there was a bigger word, a stronger word that can explain how I feel when I see my girl enjoying her life -- prideful just isn't powerful enough. I was so impressed at her confidence and eagerness to play her bells and sing her songs on stage in front of so many people. I was just so proud of her. She was so nervous the first day of rehearsal and to see her up on stage playing, singing and performing like no one was watching was a beautiful moment for me. I was happy to have pushed her a little. She really needs that extra push and it was worth it -- she did wonderfully and had a great time too! I am so happy that when I tell her things like, "You'll be so proud of yourself once you do it" or "The first part is scary, but in the end you will have had so much fun" -- I am glad when those little pep-talks don't end up being lies!
Daddy had snuck in a bouquet of flowers for her to make her first recital even more special. When she found them under her chair she said, "Oh, Mama, I think someone forgot their flowers." I said, "No, honey. Daddy got those for you." She gleamed and a huge smile broke out, "Oh, really?! Can I hold them?" She walked out of that theatre so tall and so, so happy with a giant bouquet of purple flowers.
Addi and her friends were so proud when their teacher, Mrs. Gramm was there to watch and give them handmade paper flower bouquets. These little people are just amazing and I am so glad to be a part of all of this!
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