They only thing Dylan can really say is, "We were Addi's age when we met."
Telling Dylan that his "life-long" friend had died was something I never, ever thought I would have to do. Through tears, I mumbled, "Tanner died today." It is moments like that, that I pray I never have to do again.
Tanner and Dylan - A duo that got into a lot of mischief together - hitting several baseballs though glass windows (I imagine one of them saying, "Nice hit", before running away!), jumping the hot wheels off the cement wall, lighting the shed on fire, chasing deer around on the 4-wheeler shooting them with blunt-tip arrows, riding skateboards down Gharrett Street, using cherished childhood storybooks as bases during indoor baseball, being chased upstairs by Deaette for eating all the gumballs, endless baseball roadtrips (all of which, I swear, they remembered each game and the stats from each game!) and pizza parties...a few retold memories of Tanner and Dylan growing up.
I personally am so thankful for Dylan and Tanner growing up side-by-side. I know Tanner helped to shape Dylan into the wonderful man he is today. Dylan's oldest friend is gone - taken from us way too soon.
About 4 days ago, Tanner messaged me on Facebook saying he would be living in Helena for a few months and wanted us to text him so we could get together...a message I hadn't responded to yet... What I thought was how excited Dylan would be to get to spend some time with Tanner...I was looking forward to him being here...but I hadn't told him that yet...and now it is too late...
I remember racing to the baseball fields in middle school (after stopping at the concession stand for gummy worms) to get the best spot on the bleachers to watch the shortstop - second base duo of my dreams! Dylan and Tanner were amazing to watch play together. They moved as one, as if they knew what the other was thinking - I suppose they did. Tanner loved sports and was an amazing athlete.
Whether days or years went by, this was a friendship that picked up right where you left off, as if no time had passed. Tanner was always smiling and laughing. As I quoted years ago in a page of my scrapbook, "It is always a party when Tanner is in town!" On my 21st birthday party (which is also Cinco De Mayo), Tanner and Clint showed up dressed in full Mexican attire, from the poncho to the sombrero!
The image I will carry with me is of Tanner and his young son Kaeden playing outside with a ball at Kaeden's 2nd birthday party. He was a very proud father of Kaeden and baby Tate. Thinking of those beautiful boys growing up without their daddy is tearing me apart. I pray those sweet boys remember their dad as they grow and carry him with them forever.
A few people have contacted me, concerned about Dylan. They say, you can't think about Tanner without thinking of Dylan. When I pass these thoughts and prayers onto Dylan he says, "Yah, we were inseperable for most of our childhood."
We are just devastated and so, so sorry for his family, Cheyne and his little boys, and friends. It is hard to imagine this world without Tanner in it. Our thoughts and prayers are with all who loved him. Tanner was a great friend. He will be dearly missed.
Obituary
Missoulian - initial story of the accident
the journal of a nature-loving, country-living Montana mama raising two tiny humans, vegetables, goats and chickens |:| yearning to slow time while freezing our precious life with photos & words |:| striving to live slowly, wholly, honestly and gracefully while chasing wildlife, chickens, rainbows and dreams |:| "We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand – and melting like a snowflake.” ~Marie B. Ray
Tell Dylan I am so sorry. I have so many memories of those two growing up. Praying for his precious family.
ReplyDeleteNo one knows about the synchronized energy of the famous athletic duo better than me. Those two little boys friendship created many memories for both of our families. .........True it is that the hardcovers of our best story books were more appreciated as bases than reading material; which at the time made me frustrated. Now however are remembered as harmless childhood best buddies antics(I believe this is where Dylan's love for duct tape began). Duct tape saved the books, toys, windows, bike parts and was absolutely essential to making a bat work batting miracles. The shared secret of a BB being lodged in the others head while having "fun" was a secret only the duo shared knowledge of.......until..... eventually being found out by pesky parents well after the healing took place. This reminds me of the many many buzzcut haircuts complete with notched in signature sideburns when the back deck became a makeshift barber shop(that is how the BB incident was revealed). Then there was the time we converted our living room into a dorm by bringing double bed sized mattresses in for the boys to sleep on in between double session practices for the All Star baseball team (I believe there were 6 boys that came daily) and to my complete and utter surprise even "High Octane (Tanner)" actually fell asleep. To this day I believe it is the first time I ever saw him rendered immobile. There was talk of mutiny over those double sessions; I believe even a well plotted murder of the coach. Dylan and Tanner's intense disgust at the amount of time it took to write out Valentines for classmates was a mutually shared "work of futility" because for Pete's sake they could have been out running up and down the mountain chasing deer on their bikes or something else way more cool. Remembering these times with tears of joy will eventually replace the tears of sorrow that now cloud my eyes and heart. I loved that kid like he was my own and cherish the years God gave us to love him and be loved by him. I am comforted by knowing Tanner prayed and asked Jesus to come into his heart late one night during one of the many sleep overs (probably after they stole all the gumballs out of the gumball machine and vehemently denied having done so, even though their answer came with a nod of the head due to the fact both of their mouths were too full of gumballs to actually rightly defend themselves).......I believe God remembers that night too; the part about the heart............Tanner had a big heart. Thanks be to God who does all things well even at times like this when we do not understand.
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