Weaned

My babies are self-weaners. Addison slowly weaned herself at 10 months. She nursed less and less until one day she refused. She was too busy to sit still and nurse. I feel Landon is up to the same thing. The past 5 days Landon has refused to nurse. I hold him next to me and he squeals and pushes away from me. For effect, I wish I could insert the sound of my heart breaking.

I am so sad on so many levels, for so many different reasons. I love the special quiet time breastfeeding gives us together. He would nurse early in the morning when no one else is awake.  I will miss cuddling with him on the rocking chair, talking to him softly. After nursing right before bedtime we would read books and talk about animals! He would look up into my eyes and put his hand on my face. He would often get a fist full of my shirt, cheek or breast and not let go until he was finished eating. 

Landon is my last baby and I am not ready to say I will never nurse again.

The fact that Landon was even able to nurse at all is a miracle in itself. So many times premature babies do not nurse for a variety of reasons. At 34 weeks gestation, less than four weeks after he was born,  I nursed Landon for the first time. After that he nursed a little bit each day and took to it very naturally. It takes a lot of energy for a baby that small to nurse and it took him several days to build up enough stamina to get a full feed. The fact that he learned to nurse so fast and was able to gain weight on nursing alone was the reason we were able to take him home as early as we were. The miracle of Landon will never cease to amaze me.

I was hoping it was a quick phase. The past couple days he has been teething horribly and hasn't really felt that well.  He is only 11 months old -- too young to make this sort of decision without consulting his mommy! I am just not ready to be finished nursing him. I guess I better make my peace with it. He is growing up and moving on. We will try him on whole cow's milk and see if he snubs that too!!

Mama loves you Nugget. I am so proud of you.